29 January 2010

Bonsai Tree: The end

It has been a long journey for my budding Bonsai Tree... but in Bonsai Tree years it was just a blink of an eye.  He started off with humble beginnings, sitting in his green box with instructions that didn't make sense and was written for the northern hemisphere (I live in the southern).  I found a place for him in my office drawer and didn't expect to see any results for at least a month.  Within the week he had already shone through.

Things got a little freaky from here on... he seemed to be growing too well and I suspected bonsai drug abuse, but alas he was going well and that's all that mattered I guess =)  My spirits were high to see him going so well, wouldn't be long now I thought.  And just as I predicted he was soon ready for the big day, the transplant!  I felt like how a parent might feel when their first child starts their first day at school (or something along those lines I am sure lol).

I had such high hopes for it.

I had plans of shaping him so he would have a branch sticking out to the side, one that I could hang a miniature tire swing from and little bonsai mushrooms could grow around the base... and I could have some bonsai people who live in the base of the tree, then when their technology advanced they would figure out how to build a bonsai tree house for the bonsai tree.  Eventually they would figure out how to clone the tree and would start a bonsai tree forest to form a bonsai civilization with their own bonsai way of life, but then rival bonsai clans would war and drop bonsai nukes and before we know it the whole bonsai forest is suffering from bonsai radiation and they would all turn into bonsai zombies and it would be the bonsai zombies versus the bonsai non-zombies but there would be no where to hide because all this is happening from within my office drawer which I don't open very often and then one day I would open it expecting them by this stage to have bonsai space ships but instead they are all gone...

Instead... we didn't even get the chance to see a bonsai zombie apocalypse, I didn't even get to see a branch.

And do you want to know the reason for this injustice? Nothing!  They died completely for no reason (well 1 I killed by accident... but the others were perfectly healthy lol).  After I transplanted them I gave them some sun, ample amounts of water (some colleagues at work argue too much water, but they're just jealous of my green thumb)... I even moved them to the stairwell to grant some humidity... all in vain!

I warn you readers, the next image below may be shocking to anyone who is a bonsai lover/liker/sympathizer/distant admirer... or basically anyone who has a heart that hasn't turned to stone:

He had such promise... maybe his drug problem finally caught up to him.

Well, that's that, nothing more to say really.  The moral of the story?  Well, don't do drugs comes to mind, sure you might grow really fast, be the coolest seedling in the pot for a while, but think about it, who are you really impressing once you start to swivel and die?  No one kids, no one.

On the upside at least I don't have to worry about a burial.

Update: Fun fact!  The word 'bonsai' was (including the use of the word bonsai just then, and then another just then) gives a total of 23 times!


sabbii said...

I feel sorry for the civilization that never got a chance to exist.
Awaits the "Bonasi tree take two" post.

Kate said...

Next time gadget...

I'm crap at growing things too. Quite why my student job was on the plants and flowers section at Morrisons is still a mystery to me. I killed so many plants and for some reason they still didn't fire me.

Kate x

Out of Sync said...

Sabbi - Me too =( They had so much promise, we could of learned so much from them.

Kate - I'm not sure about a next time, I think killing 9 is enough for the time being. It's nice to meet a fellow serial plant killer, I am not alone lol.

sabbii said...

I don't think you could save them, they where in too deep with the drugs lol.
But this can't be the end of the Bonsai tree posts. A new era and generation must be born. I can't wait for 'Bonsai tree take two'

Sue Lin said...

No Bonsai no.2?? The 112 year old Bonsai tree pic u got from Wiki looks absolutely cool!

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