25 March 2010


What is up with me this week? Ever since I have moved out of home I have become a completely different person... I am even getting the feeling that it is here to stay. I guess it isn't a bad thing, right? I guess that depends on how I am changing and what into.

I guess to bring everyone up to speed, I moved out of home last weekend... today marks a solid 5 days anniversary. My initial thoughts? Love it, and because I love it, I am petrified. The 3 house mates are awesome, I am currently sitting next to Jack as I type this, just chatting away, how cool is that. (well to me it is). The other two, Jane and Mark, are just as good. Everything seems good, perfect even... yet sadly, my past has morphed me into a terribly cynical person and I spent my days wandering 'Where is it going to go wrong?'.

I haven't opened up to them yet, the whole time I have been terribly introverted. That is my usual myself, true, but not to this extreme. I am quiet, closed for a reason, lots of reasons actually... last year was a terrible year, I was hurt by too many people that I had opened myself up to completely and unconditionally... I am not going to make that mistake again. One day I will need to learn to trust again... I can't stay this closed for ever, but that time has not come, the right person for that more importantly has not come either, so for now things will remain this way, just how I like it.

People can't hurt you if you don't let them in right? Sounds good to me.

What was writting above could be the reason why I haven't been myself lately... I am just wondering if this is the new me, do I like it?


Post a Comment