28 January 2012

A lazy Saturday

Today I decided to have a 'me' day. No phone calls, no hanging out with friends, no jobs to get done... just completely laze around. I feel it is important to do from time to time, our lives are so busy as it is that it is far to easy to lose yourself and forget who you really are, the you that isn't stuck at work, or finishing an essay, or hanging with friends.

So after spending the morning playing Star Wars: The Old Republic for about 4 hours straight I emerged from my room to find an awesome Summers day. I decided to finally setup my hammock in the backyard, grab my Macbook, phone (for music only), my book (currently reading Inheritance by Christopher Paolini... it's brilliant!) and settled in for the long haul =)
Hammocks are legendary.
It was ridiculously peaceful. The day was warm with the slightest of cool breezes. During this time I sat, and I thought... and I thought some more. I thought about everything; my upcoming trip to New York City and if my current preparations are going well, checking off in my mind a list of what is still left to do. I thought about Polly, although I purposely didn't dwell on that for long... it wouldn't be doing myself any favours. I thought about my best mates, and was looking forward to their bands first live performance the following night. I thought about blogging, about how my blog is going and where it is heading, and I thought about how my favourites bloggers are going, some of which I look to for inspiration.

I then turned my thoughts inwards, towards my life. Without the hustle of real life getting in the way this was the first time in a long time where I could properly stop and think about the questions that I have been meaning to answer for so long now. What am I doing with myself? Where am I going? Am I happy with where I am going? What's important to me? What do I live for, believe in?

They are tough to answer, and can never truly be defined I know, but as long as you have the general idea in mind then I think you are doing okay. It was quite scary how poorly I could answer these questions... I really have not a clue what I am doing with myself and where I am heading.

I turned my Macbook on and started to read blogs in the hope for some guidance, I find reading about other peoples journeys through life can often help me immensely with my own one. I read through literally dozens of blogs (there are some truly amazing people out there) all the while thinking about those questions above. I ended up writing two long posts (that I will post at a later time) in an attempt to answer the questions as best as I can, to write down and sort out what it is I want out of life. It wasn't fantastic progress, but it was a start.

Five hours later it was starting to get dark and I was hungry, I couldn't believe how much time had passed. I must have been very deep in thought.

5 hours later, it is time to move.
Over the next month or so you will probably see a lot more frequency in posts, with a lot just being my general contemplations about whatever. Blogging is great, it helps me so much, it is my wall to lean upon when the world feels like it is spinning all around.

This will be a long process, I know I will not have the answers overnight. But it is also a process that inspires great optimism and hope, to realize that I can literally do whatever I want to do in life is a very exciting realization. All I have to do is find what it is I want to do =)


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