01 September 2011

Who I want to be

"Where do you work?"

I get asked this all the time.

"Oh... umm, I'm a Software Developer" is my automated reply.  My voice sounding eerily similar to the computers I spend my days on.

A majority of my time I spend at work, isn't spent actually working.  I read the news, check my Facebook, watch YouTube, blog.

I even watch movies.

No, I am not kidding.

Some days, I'll sit there for hours and watch movies, without touching my work.

The other week I watched Harry Potter 1 to 6 over the course of two weeks.  All whilst at work.


For starters, I was terribly bored.

Secondly, I have no desire nor motivation to perform my job any better then I currently do.

I have thought into this a great deal, and I know that I cannot continue on like this forever, only working half heartily.  Working hard or hardly working? As the saying goes.

Hardly working, it evidently would appear.

I have, however, been at my current job for 3 years now.  That is a respectable amount of time, especially seeing as it is a rather prestigious job, doubly so for the fact that I have such a job at such a young age, fresh straight out of University only last year.

There is this guy at work, I can't stand him.  He loves the job, without it, he is nothing.  I on the other hand feel that I am nothing because of the job.  This, I feel, all leads to the same, seemingly unanswerable question:

"I am only 23 years old, what, if not what I am currently doing, could I possibly do for the next 40 years that makes me not feel like I am just wasting away..."

The answer? I have not a clue.

"Where would you rather work?" should be what people ask me instead.

I don't know what my reply would be, but maybe one day, if I were indeed asked that question, the answer may just spring to mind.

"They say good things take time, but truly great things can happen in the blink of an eye" - Unknown

In saying all that, hope is definitely not lost. Hope can be found from the first few words of that declaration above: "I am only 23 years old".  I am young, very young.  Young enough to have the time to wait around for a while longer in the hope that the answers may find me.  Some people can spend their entire lives not knowing what they want to be or do with themselves.  I hope I am not one of those people, nor in fact do I truly feel that I am one of those people anyway, the reason being perhaps is because of the difference between myself, and those people; my strong desire to seek.  Seek, and you truly shall find.

Eventually, anyway.

So with all that said, place both feet on the ground, spin around three times on the spot, stop, then proceed to walk into the sunset with a smile on your face, ignorance in your thoughts and hope in your heart.  

Viva la vida!


manthy said...

Google users please follow my Blog here
we can trade links or anything to help each other out.
Thanks a million

Jez said...

It's always difficult finding out what you want to do. I know that after spending 4 years at university, I realised that the course I was doing, was not something I really enjoy that much. That's not to say that I regret my decision, even though a better one could have been made. But sometimes finding out what you don't like is just as important as finding something you do like. It gets you one step closer to finding out what you really do want to do.

Keep looking, You and I are both young and in the same position, wondering where we will end up if we choose a specific role. There's plenty of time left to find out something you enjoy, you just need to take the first step. Keep going. I'm rooting for ya!

Out of Sync said...

Manthy - Thanks for stopping by, I always appreciate your words of wisdom.

Jez - "But sometimes finding out what you don't like is just as important as finding something you do like" liking that quote a lot =)

This post was definitely one of hope and excitement (not gloom and doom hehe). Yes Jez, we are young, and I know we'll both get somewhere great in the end, maybe we just need to slow down and enjoy the journey getting there a little more... while it lasts anyway ;)

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