07 June 2011

Can I get off this ride yet?

I cried my eyes out the other day.  Sure, I'll admit it.  I'm a 23 year old straight male and I actually got overwhelmed to the point where I just couldn't take it, and yeah, I just broke down for a good 10 minutes. 

Why? I guess it was just a huge amount of little things, in general I can't really complain about my life (especially when I compare myself to the less fortunate, things could be a hell of a lot worst).  But relax, I'm not going to go all Dr. Phil over here and spill all my problems ha.  For starters, it would make for rather boring reading I am sure, and secondly, I don't know, there is still a level of anonymity I try to keep on this blog, despite my rather naturally open personality.

Ever since my breakup with my girlfriend, and losing my all-time bestfriend... I guess life has been rather empty ever since. Was I meant to suck in my pride, and try to make amends with them both? Perhaps.  Life could of been vastly different if that was the case.  But the fact is that that ship has long since sailed so I can't really even factor it into the equation. And sure, I've made some amazing new friends since then... but, they just somehow don't seem to compare.

The time aged problem of trying to fit the circle wooden shape into the rectangle hole...

I think my problem is I had this idea of how I envisioned life would be at 23, and then how life should be at 23, and then I compare on how life currently is at 23, and I just get... lost, and frustrated, and sad, that it isn't quite what I set it out to be. Couple that with my chronic indecisiveness, a tendency to over-analyze, frequent daydreaming of the future, the fear of boredom and a moderate level of crazy, and you get quite the rollercoaster.

But, just like the countless times before, when life gets you down, you just wait out the storm, hope for the best, and if you are lucky the sun will be shining again soon enough.

Note: Better blogs are still to come in the near future I promise ha =P 


Sue Lin said...

The sun WILL shine again =)

How did u lose your bestfriend at the same time as ur breakup?

Out of Sync said...

Ha, thanks Sue. I'm back to my bouncy self already so all good, just needed to write it out for a bit of an outlet I think =)

Because she cheated on me with my bestfriend, so yeah, kind of a friendship breaker right there haha.

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