Who I want to be

"Where do you work?"

I get asked this all the time.

"Oh... umm, I'm a Software Developer" is my automated reply.  My voice sounding eerily similar to the computers I spend my days on.

A majority of my time I spend at work, isn't spent actually working.  I read the news, check my Facebook, watch YouTube, blog.

I even watch movies.

No, I am not kidding.

Some days, I'll sit there for hours and watch movies, without touching my work.

The other week I watched Harry Potter 1 to 6 over the course of two weeks.  All whilst at work.

Why?

For starters, I was terribly bored.

Secondly, I have no desire nor motivation to perform my job any better then I currently do.

I have thought into this a great deal, and I know that I cannot continue on like this forever, only working half heartily.  Working hard or hardly working? As the saying goes.

Hardly working, it evidently would appear.

I have, however, been at my current job for 3 years now.  That is a respectable amount of time, especially seeing as it is a rather prestigious job, doubly so for the fact that I have such a job at such a young age, fresh straight out of University only last year.

There is this guy at work, I can't stand him.  He loves the job, without it, he is nothing.  I on the other hand feel that I am nothing because of the job.  This, I feel, all leads to the same, seemingly unanswerable question:

"I am only 23 years old, what, if not what I am currently doing, could I possibly do for the next 40 years that makes me not feel like I am just wasting away..."

The answer? I have not a clue.

"Where would you rather work?" should be what people ask me instead.

I don't know what my reply would be, but maybe one day, if I were indeed asked that question, the answer may just spring to mind.

"They say good things take time, but truly great things can happen in the blink of an eye" - Unknown

In saying all that, hope is definitely not lost. Hope can be found from the first few words of that declaration above: "I am only 23 years old".  I am young, very young.  Young enough to have the time to wait around for a while longer in the hope that the answers may find me.  Some people can spend their entire lives not knowing what they want to be or do with themselves.  I hope I am not one of those people, nor in fact do I truly feel that I am one of those people anyway, the reason being perhaps is because of the difference between myself, and those people; my strong desire to seek.  Seek, and you truly shall find.

Eventually, anyway.

So with all that said, place both feet on the ground, spin around three times on the spot, stop, then proceed to walk into the sunset with a smile on your face, ignorance in your thoughts and hope in your heart.  

Viva la vida!

The seasons of life

As I've previously posted, only last week in fact, I took part in the annual 20 Something Bloggers Blog Swap 2011, in which you can see the swap here.  My post has already been posted on my partners blog, but in honesty I was actually (and surprisingly) a little proud of what I had written so I wanted to post it here on my own blog for safe keeping.  The topic of the blog swap was 'Summer'.  Below is my submission.

I hope you enjoy.

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The Seasons of Life

While most of you are coming to the end of your Summer seasons, I on the other hand live in Australia, thus our Summer has well and truly finished and Winter has truly settled in. I much prefer the sunny days, the green trees, the fun at the beach and the slight breeze in the air.

Most Winter days you wake up to grey clouds, a never ending rain, a terrible chill in the air. You look outside your window and long for the green fields and sandy beaches, and the memory of them just reminds you how far away they are. 

I know I for one feel a little grumpy at that realization.

But I especially love the way Summer can sneak up on you, a fitting reflection on how life can also. Everyone has their gloomy days. The days when everything feels pointless. Those days when it feels like you are looking out your window, wishing for better days, and all there appears to be as far as the eye can see is grey, and darkness, and cold...

Sometimes it seems to last an eternity.  Sometimes it can spiral out of control.
  

But then, sometimes without realizing, things start to change. Sometimes you don't notice that life is improving until someone points it out to you. "It isn't as dark when I get home from work these days", they might say. "Hmm, yeah... wow, you are right", comes your response, as you lift your head to the sky, surprised that you hadn't noticed it sooner. Where had my gloomy days gone?

They were right, and you hadn't even noticed. Things definitely were improving. Sometimes you get so caught up in feeling depressed that you fail to realize the little improvements in life. The brief hour of sunshine, the calmer wind, a day without the need for a jacket. You take those instances for granted, not realizing that slowly, but surely, your dark days are beginning to fade.

The next day of course, it pours. The progress you seemed to be making takes two steps back. Sometimes the memory of the brief glimmer of sunshine, how the sadness was fading, is enough to hold the gloom at bay.  Other times, it returns at full force, you retreat back into yourself, viewing the world through all shades of grey once more, hating that you are back to square one.

When will life improve? When is my sunshine?

Time, of course, moves forever forward. Life goes on. Seasons change. Events transpire. Before you know it your phone beeps, it's a voice mail from a friend "Hey hey, free today? Come down to the beach with us, if you're up for it that is." You stop for a moment before replying. Am I up for it? As you look around, you relish at the blue skies, feel the warm sun on your skin, the fresh smell of grass, the cooling breeze, and you suddenly realize that your sad, gloomy filled days you once had are far behind you.

You can't really even explain how, but everything all of a sudden just feels a lot more... Summery.

20SB 2011 Blog Swap!

The time has come for the 20 Something Bloggers annual Blog Swap event, and this year I finally got moving and got involved, sweet!  The idea is to sign your blog up to be partnered with someone completely at random, to then each swap one post on a particular topic decided upon the 20SB people.


This years topic was Summer and I have been partnered up with the very lovely Mila from Free Bird Train, so definitely check her blog out!  Below is Mila's post on the experiences of life during summer, enjoy =)
 

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Hi! I'm Mila from Free Bird Train.

Having a baby has changed my summer to a crazy degree. Last year, my husband and I took a spontaneous trip to New Orleans and when we came back we were absolutely broke, but I loved the adventure.  This year my adventure has mostly been diaper changes and bottles, but I think I actually love it even more.

Here are 10 new things I did/learned this summer:

1. You can still be fun as a new parent.

 I thought when we had our baby we would be boring. But we're not! Okay, only sometimes :)

It's just nice to know that we can still go out as a couple or a family and still have lots of fun.

2. Weddings are beautiful

This summer, I went to my first wedding (unless you call a Vegas drive-thru a wedding?) and it was beautiful. My brother and his wife even graced me with the privilege of being a bridesmaid. 

Too fun.

3. Clean space equals a clean mind

Keeping the house clean has really helped me have a clear mind so I'm able to be creative and productive. Hopefully I can keep it up through the school year.

4. Half-priced frappuccinos are evil.

Starbucks is evil in general, creating delish drinks that have a million calories, but when they decided to take their frapps down to half price, I nearly died. We ended up getting one frapp everyday that week. Terrible, I know.

 

5. Cooking really is the way to a mans heart.

I've been trying out new recipes over summer and my husband just can't get enough of my home cooked meals. Best way to put a smile on his face and fill his stomach at the same time :) 

6.Reality T.V. is sad, yet addicting. 

I hate reality t.v. but I can't resist. 

It's terrible.

7. Taking photos are fun

Just learning how to use a camera to take better photos. 

 

8. Going back to school is a good thing.

In order to give my babes the best life possible, I have to be the best me possible and show him by example the importance of school.

  

9. The beach is the most relaxing place in the world.

Enough said.

10. Love conquers all.

Love has been the most important thing this summer, as cheesy as it sounds. I have so much love for my husband, my baby, my mommy, brothers, my new sister and all my amazing friends.

Thanks for letting me share my summer fun.