15 June 2012

Another annoying 'Birthday' happened again

So... it was my birthday... again... the other day. As much as I try to resist having them, time just keeps on moving forward and before I know it I am another year older! My age this time? 24 years ancient.

I don't like getting older, I don't think I ever have. Getting older enforces responsibility, less time in life to do all the things you plan to do, the reminder that you are mortal, and a big shock to the 'have I done enough with my life and am I happy where I am heading' internal debate. Although if my current location is anything to take into account, then I guess this year I can answer that debate rather positively.

My actual birthday was two weeks ago, I was still in Los Angeles at the time. Although today as I write this I am currently sitting in a Starbucks in the very center of San Francisco... cool. Oh man, I love this city so much, and as I contemplate my newly gained '24 years old status' I can look around the room and be rather proud of where I am for it signifies what I have achieved.

Looking for jobs... kind of, in San Francisco a few days after turning 24 years old
But that's enough of my achievements, what I'd like to focus on is my goals, because as always I like to assess where I am and where I am heading and turning another year older is the perfect benchmark. This time last year at my last birthday I was beginning to enter a rather positive place in my life; working fulltime at a great job, enjoying the freedom of living out of home without any University studies to take up my free time, and starting to really strengthen my friendship of newly acquired friends. My goal I set myself for the year? To work full time, save money, and plan my trip of backpacking around America.

So yes, the fact that I can now look around this very moment as I type this and see that I am sitting in the heart of San Francisco, does signify quite a lot as it means I truly did achieve the goal I set out to do! It is nice to have a win every now and again. Although I am far from finished in my backpacking trip, but more on that in another post.

The problem however is that I don't see myself as being 24 years old. Well, I am sure I physically look like I am to others, but I don't see myself as being so (both inside and out). When I see other 24 year olds, I don't know, they seem more grown up, and wiser, and perhaps even just plain cooler really.

On the bus into town this morning I saw a very pretty girl, and I don't know about you guys but sometimes when I see a girl I without thinking start to imagine how the pair of us would look together, as I believe the best couples I meet always seem to just look great together. And no I don't just mean 'the girl is a model and the guy benchpresses cars at the gym' type of looking good together (I am not that shallow), I mean that good couples have a complimentary style, trait and persona that just seems to mesh really well when they stand together. Anyways, I did this imaginary pairing with this girl, and I immediately disregarded us because in that little pairing up scenario I imagined she looked older then me. Upon looking at her again however I realized she is most likely 24 also (the same as me), yet when I envisioned us, I seemed far too young for her. Why is this?

Perhaps it is the line of 'you are only as old as you feel' or 'young at heart'. I guess while I do physically look 24 years old, I certainly don't feel like I am. I am still as erratic, immature, random and clueless as I was when I was 19... and while I know I certainly need to start acting like an adult soon, I certainly can't see myself wanting to anytime soon. Is that a worry? I guess if I am not wasting my money, and not getting into trouble, and am actually doing stuff with my life, then there is no harm done?

Although I know my mum would disagree with that last part haha. "Get a full-time job and buy a house" is her motto of the year. Although to be fair, she does support my current traveling 100% =)

Well, this post turned out quite a bit more in-depth and larger than I had originally intended. I think with my constant traveling I haven't done as much contemplation and reflection about life as I usually do, so there was a bit of a backlog. The quest to find ones self seems to always to just out of reach. Well, at least for me.


Tom said...

Happy Birthday!

Definitely do the same thing... it's like my brain hasn't grown up and assumes women my age are just too old!

Azz said...

Thanks bud =D Haha it is great to know I am not the only one!

Jez said...

Happy belated birthday buddy! I've just played catch-up with your blog, and it looks like you're having an amazing time! The pictures are great! Growing old is overrated! Live young and stay young for as long as you can!

Azz said...

Thanks Jez! Cool man I am glad you are enjoying the posts =) Haha and yep I completely agree.

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