22 November 2012

Why am I here again?

Why am I here again? And I don't mean my current location, that being Bellingham, Washington state, in the house of a HelpX host resting after another extremely grueling day of hauling concrete, gravel and nailing fence posts.

Why am I still in America on this trip I mean?

In two weeks it will be officially 8 months since I first stepped off the plane in Los Angeles without the slightest idea what the hell I was doing or how I was to survive, but wow, that was so long ago now, I can barely even remember how life was before all this. While I still have a few 'must see' places to visit (New York City!) I am starting to wonder if staying here for a while more like I currently plan to is worth it.

What am I getting out of still being here?

The last time I have had an absolute blast was over a month ago now, back during my road trip and few days layover in San Francisco with Chris, and the new friends I made in that short time, Will, Pam and of course Clare. Since then I have been constantly on the move, jumping from one HelpX host to the next. I haven't even added a new Facebook friend in all that time, let alone made a legitimate new friend! So, I guess I am in a bit of a slump, and getting new invites to cool events happening back home in Australia that I know that I will no doubt miss doesn't help.

So again I have to ask myself, what am I getting out of still being here?

Being at these HelpX locations has been an awesome experience I have to admit, and the current one is great too. They have all been quite challenging, as having come from a computer science background I have never been one for prolonged lengths of physical labour, and now all of a sudden I am thrust into weeks upon end of digging, lifting, gardening, construction and so much more. Yet somehow, I rise to the challenge! I still have 3 more days of work ahead of me before my 1 day off for this week, but I am getting stronger everyday. I know already that I am physically much stronger than I have ever been due to these HelpX places (hey there ladies), not to mention all the new experiences and learned skills I now have, especially with construction, gardening, animal care, geography and countless other areas really, all of which I doubt I would of had exposure to back home.

So... I guess, that's my answer? That this trip, and of course life in general, can't just be all fun and games all the time, and that it is necessary to have difficult times that you just need to push through, despite how much it may suck, or how pointless it may seem, because at the end of it all you will always be a better person because of it.

It still doesn't change the fact that after 7 months I am now missing home immensely.

The other day I met a fellow Australia who had dinner with us, it was strange how easily and high my spirits rose simply from being in the company of someone from my home country. This trip has been quite the challenge.

Alas, I still have a few things that I must do before returning home (else I'd regret it forever) so I will push through and take comfort in the fact that I am sure another 'amazing San Francisco' like time will happen again before long. I just hope I can end this trip with a bang rather than a fizzle =)

When am I coming home you may ask?

Shortly, it would appear? Perhaps. We shall see. Who knows!


Tania said...

I am so confused by your timeline, because my Analytics shows you in one place while you're writing about still being in a different one.

Azz said...

Yeah... my blog is terribly behind haha.

I actually left Bellingham nearly a month ago, but with my MacBook still dead I find it hard to write posts, so what you are reading is my backlog =)

How does your analytics tell you my location anyway?? How does it know it is specifically me who is looking at your page? Hmm, unless it tracks that I got to your blog from my blog and assumes always that it me? But that couldn't be 100% accurate as another person may reach your blog from my blog. Hmm.

Tom said...

It's been a journey my friend! Keep your chin up, push through, you'll never get another chance!

Tania said...

I make the assumptions based on where your plans to go were, combined with traffic source.

Post a Comment