The battle

"Your a good guy, you know that?"

Something my best friend said to me the other day, the result of myself being my usual noble and loyal self as I made a decision that would put my happiness second but a friendship first. That being my friendship with one of my longest remaining friends, a meaningful friend to me, who sadly doesn't appear to be reprocated from his end quite as much.

But alas, that's just how I am.

In truth, he won't even know I have made this decision, one that will save him from hurt but rob me of a desire I have had now for far too long.  In part it was a easy decision, mostly because of our friendship but also because of past events, where similar situations have arisen.  Situations that sent a shock wave through every aspect of my life.

Does the cliche' line of 'nice guys finish last' really exist?

Well I refuse to get dramatic, there is a line I shall obey ha.  Just gets a little over whelming when I am talking to an amazing girl that I have no future with, sitting at home on a Saturday night with nothing better to do, and in an act I swear is the Universe just trying to push me that little further I turn around to find my PC has died. 

It is strange because it appeared I was doing so well until recently.  I successfully finished my Honours year of University, I had a great break over Christmas, had an awesome New Years Eve celebration... and yet now, just this past week or so, I seem to be stumbling backwards.

Well, guess I'll just keep pushing on, keep my head high and stay optimistic for the future. As best as I can that is.