2009: Finally it ends

Well the year that was 2009 is about to come to an end, and what a year it was.  Good riddance is all I can say.

Sigh.. way too tired at the moment, and the damn builders next door have their shit Spanish music on full blast... all morning long (or it could be Indian, or even Greek, no clue... all I know is that it is a foreign language which tries to combine rap, melody and native music all into one).  It is really getting to me.  Argh... just asking my sister then, apparently they keep the music on the entire day... I have put headphones on with my music blaring to try to drown it out.

I think I will play some drums later just to annoy them.

I had originally thought to go into this blog with a bit of a recap of the last 12 months... but that wouldn't involve many fond memories at all... this year was the worst I have ever had, bring on 2010 that's for sure!  Besides, I am trying to go into the new year with a more positive outlook, so might as well start now.

New Years Eve today... you know what that means?  New Year's party tonight!!!  I was a little worried as it was only yesterday that I actually put any thought in what I wanted to do for tonight lol, a little late I know.  I got asked to attend 4 different events actually... which doesn't make much sense.  Lately I feel like I have only a very small handful of people I can call 'friends'... which does get me down, so it was a nice surprise to receive so many requests.  I guess in hindsight I do have quite a considerable amount of friends, my quarrel though is that I seem to lack any real or true friends, which when you think about it are the only ones that really matter.

Currently my plans are (and I say the word currently as they seem to change by the hour) is to have a few pre-drinks with Daniel, then... well we haven't thought past that haha.  My original plan had been for Daniel, Sabrina, Annieh (a friend of Sabrina's) and I to head to the city, Sabbi however, being the awesome friend she is, pulled out..!  This threw everything into turmoil as it looked like it was just going to be Daniel and I in the city, but alas, the world sways forever sideways, because it turns out Sam and fellow group members will be heading to the city too, sweet!

Sam is known as my 'party buddy' as we have the best time when we are out together.

I have learned a lot this year, it really will be a defining time in my life.  Wow, I think back to this time last year, absolutely everything has changed.  So much change in such little time.  I have lost so much, gained so little. I have fought, cried, questioned everything I once knew, or what I thought I knew that is.  I have been on the lowest of lows this year, but forever optimistic and hopeful for a brighter future ahead.  I have been telling myself these last few weeks as the year was close to its end that next year will be considered as a new start, a brighter beginning.

I have a lot to look forward to so it is off to a good start. =)

Unlike my early posts on this blog I no longer am able to dive very deep into my thoughts.  I am unsure why exactly, you could say it is an improvement, a sign that things have calmed perhaps?

So, what has been learned from this year?  It is an extremely important question to answer as you can never grow as a person if you don't learn from your past experiences.

Hmm, I guess one thing I have learned is that no matter how hard you try, some things and events are just outside your control.  Stuff happens, both good and bad, that would of happened anyway regardless of what actions you took.  This was a big one for me as I had the unrealistic view that I thought I had just about everything figured out, the world and people around me were under my close personal surveillance.  As mentioned in some of my very early posts, I like to think I have quite an accurate understanding of the people I interact with, being able to read their persona quite well.  What they are really thinking, any hidden meanings behind their actions and words, what is the most likely decision or answer they will conceive when given a choice to make.

I have learned that I am much stronger then I ever thought possible, which is nice to know and will definitely be useful in the future I am sure.  I survived a hell of a year, although with many new scars to carry, but survived nonetheless with a full recovery in sight.  It has given me a completely new outlook on life.

As a result of what transpired mid year, I lost a lot of friends and found myself the most isolated I have ever been.  This was a massive shock at first and was often times hard to come to terms with.  Time, as always, has remedied this and I now find these days that I am much more independent as well as being happy with my own company.  This is way different to the old me that was always busy with a social event, which I now realize was a mistake, it never allowed me to be happy to just do my own thing and be on my own at times.  It is an irreplaceable value that I have learned and I know I will be a much better person from now on because of it.

I am extremely glad I have started this blog, I hope to continue it for many years to come.  Although I have only started it recently so there isn't much archived yet, just reading the old ones now really looks like a time capsule depicting how I have slowly evolved over these last few months.

I have had quite a few eventful situations, which is basically a weekly occurrence for me lol... see 'lol how do I get myself into these messes?' and 'Today was... eventful' just to name a few of many.

I did quite a lot of reflection on my life, especially in the earlier days as I was coming to terms with my big situation that occurred mid year, see 'Unknown' and 'Progress nonetheless' for some of the early, deeper ones.

Had countless parties and nights out lol, some of my favourites were 'Jason's 21st', a 'recap of one of my drunken nights' as documented by Sabbi, and 'Eventful journey home'.

Life is a journey, and while it is not always what you expect it to be, nor what you would want it to be, you just need to adapt, forever strive harder and upwards, stay true to yourself and live life like you mean it.

You only live once, make the most of it. Bring on 2010 =)

Spontaneous Camping Trip 09 - Part Two

This is part two (obviously) of my camping trip summary, which would logically prove that there had to be a part one to warrant a part two, which you can read all about here!

Day two started off a little shaky as I had for the past few days been experience a lot of memory flashbacks from my previous camping trips... to which 'they' were obviously with me.  The frequency of these memories seemed to intensify over night and I woke up with a battle raging within my mind, trying to forget my past but having far too many familiar things around me to make it easy to do so.  I started the morning sitting on my favourite chair underneath a shady tree to let my wander for a few hours, with ipod in ear, writing down what was on my mind.

 I ended up dozing off lol, but felt fantastic when I awoke, time for some adventure!

This, my blogosphere friends, is Baz!  Hmm, I don't think I have ever mentioned Baz on my blog before (shameful indeed), he is a major part of my life, we have gone on soooo many adventures =D

Which brings us to day two, and what an adventure that was!  I decided to go down some roads I had never been on before purely for the fun of it, which lead us to some pretty isolated dirt roads that clearly were not in the design considerations of my car model lol.

This was fantastic fun although hitting some big rocks and ditches did make me worry slightly, but I have complete faith that Baz can make it through!  He has been through much worse let me tell you.

Look how he blends so well with the natural environment.

Reaching the top of this huge mountain was worth it though, I reckon we must of drove 15km at a constant incline, Baz was giving it all he could that's for sure.  Here are some pictures once we reached the top.

An absolutely beautiful place, one that I highly recommend if you ever come to Victoria, Australia.  Here are a few more shots from our travels around The Grampians area.

 

 

 

This took up most of the day and after obtaining some more supplies (especially matches this time around) we headed back to camp to enjoy a nice fire with some toasted cheese sandwhiches, garlic bread and sausages!  Yummm now that's gourmet!

Oh AND my most exciting news of the trip was that I finally managed to sit down and write a game design idea =D  Which I guess won't make much sense to anyone who doesn't know me lol.  I design and create video games in my spare time (hopefully soon to be career, I have just finished my University degree a few months ago), but with such a rotten and hectic year I haven't been able to sit down and draw up any game designs for months now.  Every time I tried, my mind would be a mess and I knew I wouldn't be able to get creative again until I had cleared my mind enough, which would mean I am on my way to recovery from my situation mid-year.  So the fact that I managed to write one was monumental to say the least!

Quote of the day "Victory!  I killed a fly!  While I am still drastically out numbered I am hoping it will at least be a blow to their moral"

Day three meant it was time to go home.  I had a fantastic time and getting away did a great deal of good to my general well being, can't wait for my next holiday which is just around the corner =)

Get out there people!

Spontaneous Camping Trip 09 - Part One

I have noticed that when I get bored I become increasingly random, with my attention span reducing to that of a room full of... nope, see, I lost my thought already lol.  Point proven at least.  Anyways as I mentioned the other day I was looking forward to my 10 days off work and wanted to get away for a little while.

Sunday I decided would be a good day to start planning where to go, with the plan to leave Monday (or possibly even Sunday night!).  Let's go to Sydney!  Hmm... I guess technically it would be a good idea to book accommodation in advance before embarking on the 10 hour drive, although the old me would of done it in a heartbeat! (Damn... am I growing up?)

Well turns out trying to get somewhere to camp in the week between Christmas and New Year's a day before you want to book it is a lot harder then it may sound (I am sure you are as surprised to hear that as I was)... so that got ruled out.  A safe bet was to camp at The Grampians National Park as I have been there about 6 times already so I know the area well, lets go!

Monday morning Sabbi and I took off, sweet!  The drive went well and we arrived without a problem.  Set up camp easily enough (although Sabbi tried to argue against me on how I am setting my tent up wrongly... I think I know what I am doing by now lol).  She claims she could of set the entire thing up in 10 minutes to which I obviously scoffed at heavily, so once I had the base done I challenged her to on her own, put on the outer layer that just sits over your base layer which simply needs you to tie the two layers together with the strings provided...

15 minutes later she managed to figure out which way the door should be facing...

My finished tent =)

Spent the rest of the day eating chips, reading my favourite book, in my favourite chair, in perfect weather, can't get much better then that!  All went well until that night when we decided to get a fire going.  Riddle me this people: "Two people are camping, they decide to start a fire, now do they a) Use some matches to light some twigs to build up to a bigger fire b) Forget the matches at home".

If you guessed 'b)' then you'd be right!  That's 1 to you, 0 to me, the battle continues.

I immediately tried my hardest to think back to how Tom Hanks managed to create fire in the movie Cast Away, but all I could think of was Wilson haha!  Wilson was so funny, it was sad when he drifted away... hey look, after googling to find a picture of him I stumbled across his very own Facebook page!  I became a fan =D  I suggest you do the same. No seriously, do it.

No blog is complete without at least one picture of Wilson on it.

I tried rubbing sticks together for like 25 minutes to no avail... I then tried to create sparks by scraping my knife along a rock lol, still nothing.  Hmm... what creates heat?  Oh!  My cigarette lighter plug thingy in my car!  Think now for a minute if you think this would work... got your answer?

Well I can tell you that after literally an hour of trying to burn paper, toilet paper, cardboard, napkins, McDonalds wrappers, leaves, bark and tissues, it is impossible to get it to burn anything lol...

Can you see what is wrong with this picture!?  If you guessed 'It is now day two and there is still branches in it that clearly have not seen a fire the night before' then you guessed right!  That's 2 for you, 0 for me.

Quote of the day "I have the skills, I have the money, I don't have the know how but that will come on the way"  It came about when I was discussing my fantasy of moving to New York next year as you can read about at 'Pointless post'.

Well that was day one!  I think I will split this into two parts as I have been told that many people seem to struggle to read long posts... is that true?  I don't just mean my posts, I mean anyone's posts in general.  Makes it feel like I need to dumb it down so the 'challenged' people can keep up lol.

You can continue onto part two here!

My week

I haven't got anything in particular to talk about today, for a change there hasn't been a lot happening lately, well nothing eventful at least.

My weekend was very quiet as I spent the entire time home for the first time in months, I always seem to have parties to attend or have plans made, but this weekend for some reason my schedule was completely empty, which was surprisingly perfectly fine by me =)

If you were unaware that I am in fact a computer programmer/games developer by training, fresh out of my University degree and am currently working full time as a software developer.  Damn that sounds so nerdy haha... sounds even worse when I am at parties.

*talking to hot chick*

"So Aaron, you studying, working?"

"I'm working full time as a software developer at the moment"

Their eyes usually glaze over a little at this point as they realize they don't know what a software developer is, or even worse, they do know what it is but they don't approve lol.

"Oh, I see.  That's computers yeah?..."

"Yep... can I get you another drink?"

Lately I have been spending my time on a home project (yet another project started, let's see how far I get with this one) of creating my own backup program to backup all my files with a click of a button, as I was sick of doing it manually =P  Spent an insane amount of time working on it over my free weekend, up to about 500 lines of code so far.  Hmm, why don't I talk about my interests more often?  I am going to start soon, be warned though that it might make absolutely no sense, or be completely boring... or both lol.  It is still in very early developments at the moment, will probably release it once it gets into a stable version.

Answer me this people: "There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't" - Unknown

Yesterday I went out to lunch with my work colleagues for our annual Christmas lunch, which I love every time (I love my job =D).  Peter (my boss) pays for the entire thing, and we always go somewhere really fancy.  This time we went to a French restaurant which to my surprise turned out fantastic, the venue was amazing as it overlooked the bay by Geelong.  Our usual work attire is... well I was going to say smart casual but these days we all just wear shorts, t-shirts and thongs lol, so yesterday we opted to wear suits, great fun!  I used to really hate suits, they were uncomfortable, looked strange (on me at least), and I always thought people who wore them gave the impression that they are rather bland and probably have pretty strict and humorless personalities.  (A completely unverified accusation I know lol).

Last year though I had quite a lot of occasions where a suit was mandatory so I have actually grown accustomed to it a little.  And if I say so myself, damn I look good in one =P  People treat you different when your wearing one also, strange indeed.  I might wear one on my trip to Singapore just for the illusion it creates.

The lunch also marked our second last day of work for the year so I now have 10 days off work starting from today woo!  Count them, 10 whole days!  A whirlwind of ideas have been floating around of what to do on these precious days, currently the leading idea is a trip up to Sydney with Sabbi to camp by the beach for a few days, sounds good to me! 

Christmas tomorrow yay lol... should be good, will be hanging with my cousins all day which is awesome as most of them are my age, a good game of cricket is in order =).  One thing I do enjoy is giving a present that a person genuinely is thrilled to receive, and I think I have a pretty good track record of fulfilling that goal.  This year my sister and I have combined forces and have gotten mum and dad a ticket on the Colonial Tramcar Restaurant.  Basically it is a restaurant on a tram (who would of guessed lol) that travels around Melbourne city while you dine, they will love it =)

For my sister I have told her I will pay for her tickets if she decides to come to Singapore with me, which after many weeks of wavering interest, has decided she doesn't want to go lol.  So instead her and I are going to Queensland for a few days sometime in January, with a few days spent at my Aunties house in Sydney on the way back.  Snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef anyone? =D

And that concludes my last few days of life.  What a strange post, no humour, no memorable event, no bad luck, no reflection... it just doesn't... feel right, to have such an uneventful week.  It's scary lol.  I blame Christmas.

Have a good Christmas everyone!

Pointless post

Like the title says, this is a completely pointless post.  I had a heap of ideas running through my head only moments before, so I decided blogging would be a good idea to whip them into some sort of understandable structure.  Now that I am on my blog however... they have deserted me...  sigh.  Well I am here now so might as well get something down.

Hmm, what to write?  Well, I guess I can talk about what I have been up to lately.

Lately I have been thinking of where I want to live when I am older (and by older I mean say... 23? I am currently 21)... I have narrowed it down, kind of. One of my favourite places is the beach!  I am there very frequently... although I am starting to wonder how much my love of the beach has to do with the water, sun and sand, and how much because of beach babes ha...

One of my other favourite places is the city. The atmosphere is just awesome, so many unique people, who knows what they are all up to! So many stories to be told, dreams to be heard, achievements to be boasted, loss, happiness, goals.  I love a hectic life style, I love living on the edge, I hate sitting still... doing so makes me feel like life is rushing by, leaving me behind. I want to run with life, possibly even get ahead of it, because once you get to that speed I feel it overwhelms you, sweeps you away for a while and you have no idea where it is going nor when it will stop. Not knowing where you will end up in the end makes it all worth while, adventure in my mind is what life is all about =)

Whoops, off topic a bit there. Where was I?... ah yes, cities, awesome places, which is why the last few days I have been contemplating the fact of moving to one... say... New York City!  Unless a better one comes to mind... well actually, how can I even say that... that implies I think New York City is the best city, I know nothing about it. Well, I did watch the entire series (seasons 1 - 10) of the tv show Friends (no I am not joking), so I guess I know quite a bit about good ol' New York (or 'NY' as the locals call it.  See, I am down with it, I feel like a 'New Yorker' already).  All I need now is to have an obsession with Taxi's which can't go anywhere due to the traffic, wear a baseball cap at all times, eat lots of take out, and I am already half way there!

Could I possibly live here some day?

Hmm, perhaps that was a rather misguided and stereotypical view of New York (or America in general for that matter).  It sounds as bad as when other countries have views of Australia. No we do not ride Kangaroos to school, nor all carry 1 foot long knifes like Crocodile Dundee, nor all like cricket.


Sigh.. Ill be right back, just need to put my pet koala to bed. His name is Troy by the way, cutest little thing.

I mentioned to Mum the other day of my plans to move to New York (in a hypothetical as I haven't yet decided where I want to go in the end)... she didn't seem very fussed, it was quite concerning.

"As long as you have a job first, I don't mind"

"What?  Me being half way around the world doesn't bother you?"

"As I said, as long as you have a job first, then whatever you do is up to you. It will be nice to have a quiet and clean house for a change though... your room is such a mess."

(slightly hurt by this stage) "I am starting to think this house means more to you do I do, they are possessions mum, they can be replaced, I can't!"

"Hmm, yes... well speaking of possessions, go clean yours in that cave you call a room"

Harsh. 

Today out of curiosity I did some searches on what are some jobs available in New York at the moment, being in IT (software developer is my current field) I like to think there would be quite a lot of options out there for me, even if it means a bit of freelancing.

Extremely early days yet, these are just some of the things I think about randomly through out my days lol.

In other news, my cruise that was planned in a ridiculously short amount of time (see 'A lot can happen in one day') I can giddily say is still full steam ahead! (Get it? Full steam ahead, cause its a boat, and they have engines that produce steam, and at full steam it is going very fast... classic).  We had a scare for a little while as our retarded 4th person (some guy called Rod or something, a friend of Jason's) pulled out the other day after we had all put our deposits down! Argh!

I think I let my face sit flat on my desk for a few days at that news... he claims his band already had an important gig planned for April 10th (the day we return back to shore)... how the hell does something like that slip your mind!?

The day dream I had concocted in my mind of wearing a bad Hawaiian t-shirt, wide brimmed straw hat, sitting by the top deck pool, Apple Martini in hand with a swirly straw was slipping away! 

Well luckily for us (and him) he managed to 'push the extremely important gig date back a week'.  Doesn't sound like a very important gig if you can so easily change the date.  Ah well, all good now, the cruise is back on course!  (Get it?  Back on course, cause boats travel on a course... I am on fire today).

Well guess that's all at the moment. I apologize for wasting 5 minutes of your lives by making you read this pointless post, that's 5 minutes that you will never get back ha.

Ramble on!

Out of Sync

What is wrong?  I ask myself this frequently, constantly, and countless times in between.  No matter how good things seem to be going, I just can't shake the feeling of dread that sits so distractingly heavy in the depths of my inner being.

Today I went to the gym on the way home from work, sadly alone as my friend couldn't make it, which is ok, I am used to the solitude these days, but it did shake me a little for some strange reason, hence why I am here.  This needs to be unraveled.

The sooner the better. 

If you asked me what is wrong I could undoubtedly on the spot give you a list of what is on my mind these days... but they are pathetic excuses, completely materialistic in this greedy world and society we have created, what ever happened to the core values from old?  Honour, respect, loyalty, risk, adventure, achievements, advancement (both as an individual and as a people).

We are drones, or worst, sheep.

I have been spending a lot of time pondering what I want to do with my life, and where I want to be.  Visions float around more incoherently then honey thrown into an ant hill, while every now and again a stand out will show a flash of inspiration, only to be lost amongst the confusion, or possibly even stamped out by the others.  You could obviously argue that planning it all is pointless, both because there are too many variables to consider to even try to do so, but also because life is meant to be lived, not planned.

Ha, I apologize, as I know I have used that last line before.  It demotes ones creativity when people resort to repetition, however in this case it was the best candidate for my point... whatever my point may be that is.

There was a bit of a blow to my self today, a mere 20 minutes ago I might add, which was after I have already been feeling the way I have been the last few hours.  In June next year I am heading to Thailand with all my family.  Yay indeed I am sure.  My mum walked in the room (arrogantly with the nerve to interrupt Vampire Diaries I might add*), and asked if my sister and I would be fine sharing a hotel room together.  Why can't I stay with one of my cousins I thought at first... until reality hit me... they all have partners and I am the only one who does not.

Ouch.

I wonder how long it may be until I can make the same claim... it has been 5 months of the single life (so far...).  I am in no rush in truthfulness, that would be foolish, how would I even want to get involved with another after what my last did to me.  You bitches are all the same...

Jokes!  Haha I apologize, I couldn't resist... it is part of my charm =P  No no not at all, it was purely a joke, I do not believe that in the slightest.  Honest.  Even if I tried to believe that, I have met far too many amazing people in these last few months to ever think such a thing.  And that is one thing I cherish all the time.

The world is full of highly unique people to say the least, and just when you think that society has abandoned you, out of the haze there is always someone new to pick you up when you least expect it, and at the same time, when it is needed the most.

Or even just as good, someone old =)

So, nearly a dozen paragraphs have past, am I any closer to some form of an answer?  Not sure, I don't think I really touched on any of the outstanding issues, but rather rambled about the philosophical topics that I dwell on at an alarming frequency, purely for the academic challenge and the joy of such a challenge.  This was not always the case... I used to have a bestfriend to converse with about such topics, often over a couple of drinks... things change fast that's for sure.

Do I miss 'them'?  Of course I do, but it is the reasons of why I would miss them that is of most importance.  Is it the person that I miss, or instead the persons affect on me?  Or perhaps it just boils down to habit, a weak personal trait of compulsion to what is well understood, comforting because of its familiarity.  It could well be the fact that I don't miss them at all but instead miss the aforementioned comfort.  To be honest I don't think I could ever know no matter how hard I tried to unravel it... in the end is it really even necessary for it to be understood?  Regardless if I had the answer or not, it is all in the past and is just that, the past.

It may sound bazaar to hear (even I admit)... but I actually enjoy feeling this way at times.  Downtrodden, lost, confused... even fearful.  As sad as it is, these are all too familiar... but as mentioned above, familiarity breeds comfort.  Going back to what I know is pretty much how I live, I use it as a source of learning, sometimes take it as a warning when venturing into new territory, and often times these days, a place of shelter.  However, to take my own advice, if I am truly to use my past as a source of learning, I need to indeed learn from my mistakes... the biggest mistake being, is that I indeed do go back to what I know, am familiar with, comfortable with...

The consequences of that mistake have already been experienced first hand.

I did this when I was with my ex (I know I shouldn't have)... but naivety ruled my world, as it does most often when we are young.   She screwed me over once, messed with my head... beyond that actually.  Why did I forgive? (although I never forgot)... was it the fact that I stick to the creeds of old as mentioned earlier on?

Is decency dead in the modern age?  Seems like it at times

I know I seem to dwell on it... it is evident in my blogs.  But believe me when I say that I am over it all and that it is often only mentioned these days more as a reflection on past mistakes, to acknowledge them, learn from them and eventually grow from them.  I know I will achieve this in full eventually, I can already see I am well on my way.

I am actually a little proud of myself, I sure am a lot stronger then I ever dreamed beforehand.

The anxiety is still there... reluctant to leave it seems.  I guess maybe I just haven't found the best method to combat against it, or maybe fighting against it isn't what I should be doing at all.  That's not to say I will sit by and let it consume me, of course not.  My theory was that by just letting go, trying to relax, it may disperse on its own.  Time will tell.  Well, actually, it has dispersed many times before, some times if I am lucky it is gone for quite a number of days, yet somehow creeps back.

At the very least I can call it progress.  Progress is what I like to see.  Alas, we are only human after all, it is nice to be reminded of that every once in a while.

Keep your eyes ahead, feet on the ground (although leeping at times is allowed, I personally would encourage it), aim high, dream higher, and most importantly never look back.

*No I do not watch Vampire Diaries, but I did watch it for a little while this one time, was quite hilarious how bad it was lol.

Sunday afternoon musings

No real reason to blog right now, but I enjoy it so no harm in doing another =)  I hope to continue this for many years as I would love to keep track of my journey through life, so the more blogs the better (in theory lol).

Currently I am sitting in Sabbi's room on a Sunday afternoon, just doing nothing really, great fun indeed.  Sabbi has recently had surgery a few days back on her sinuses  (although I was positive it was surgery to change her face from being a white woman to a black woman), so she is condemned to house arrest for the next 2 weeks.  Much to my amusement =P

I have had a huge weekend... I may even say bigger then I would of preferred.  Friday night I was out with my mate Daniel to hit the city for whatever mischief we can come up with... well we succeeded in that aspect beyond all expectations lol.

For starters there were police EVERYWHERE!  A major police crackdown was planned for that night, the police presence was extreme and possibly even over done in my opinion.  While there I met Simon Overland lol (the Victorian Police Commissioner), I would of got a photo with him but Daniel was too slow... also, I may be on the news as when the reporters were filming I was jumping around in the background haha.

Oh yeah, apparently I was a witness to a crime lol... this guy got arrested and I was near it when it happened, and Daniel pointed out to one of the officers that the persecutor's motorcycle helmet was under a nearby bus, the officer seemed to take it instead as an innocent observation and much rather a witness confession.  He asked a bazillion questions, asked for our ID, took our details down... I may be getting a call in the next few days lol.  I tried to explain that without my glasses I didn't see much at all, to which I think he thought I was hiding something lol.

We ended up at a pub called Young and Jacksons for a bit, that was great fun (again, pints are the best invention ever!) but then decided to move to Crown.  I should mention that I was relatively sober the whole night... not by choice I might add... but because of the insane amount of walking we did lol...  We got lost trying to get to Crown (yes... I know... it is pretty damn hard to miss *facepalm*).  We turned the wrong way and walked for freakin' miles!  I'm talking, we lapped the entire Southgate complex.  When I got to the pub in Crown, the bouncer says to me:

"Heya mate, how much have you had tonight?"

Odd thing to ask I thought, seeing as I was sober... but I took it that he was just being friendly.  Later on in the night we somehow ended back at Young and Jacksons, to which this bouncer asked the exact same question!  But I was sober, what the hell lol.  This bouncer went even further and wouldn't let me in because I was apparently at an inappropriate level on intoxication... but I was sober!

He wouldn't budge.

We ended the night with the famous Night Rider buses which drops me about 1 suburb away from my house.  We got off and there was another bus sitting there not doing anything... we asked if we can get on and the guy is like 'yeah, alright then'... bit strange as he seemed slightly reluctant to let us on.  We got on and it turns out it was a trainee driver being trained, so they drove us to my suburb even though it wasn't on their route, sweet!   Best bus ever.  Sadly they wouldn't take us the rest of the way to my house which meant we had to walk 4km to my house at 4am lol... that was a LONG walk indeed... my legs are still aching.

Last night was Jason's 21st (this time at his dad's house) to which there was only myself and another mate Mark present, with the rest being family.  Was a great night, met a lot of his cousins that I have not met before (they are so cool!) played a lot of cricket, drank heaps, good time indeed.  For an after party we went to a club called Q Lounge (which I have been to once before and loved it).  While there I found $20 on the floor (sweet!) and we found a driver's license which turned out to be one of our mates with us haha!  Jason picked it up, stared at it for a bit, swung around and held it at arms length and placed the card next to the friends head and was like 'Haha Pete! I found your ID!'.  Hilarious!

That was followed by a pub crawl which consisted of many beers bought for Jason against his will haha, followed by 3am pizza!  Tasted sooo good.

I also (finally!) met Jason's half sister, Katie.  She is one of my life idols from all the things Jason has told me about her.  She is about 32 and has a really high class job as a Technical Solutions Manager (or something like that) for a big international company.  She is currently working from home while waiting for a Melbourne office to be built to which she will then be the head of that office.  The job includes a lot of travel, client interactions, conferences, meetings, all world wide!  Last year she was living in New Zealand, the year before she was in Los Angelos, America, and before that she was in Sydney, Australia!  Sounds like my absolute dream job so I have always been extremely eager to meet her and have a chat.

Last night I finally got my chance and we chatted for a good 45 minutes about everything from what her current job is about, how she got where she is today (including a rough time line starting from when she graduated Uni) what are some do's and do not's, and generally a lot of really good advice.  It was so great to chat to her, I really respect and look up to her greatly.  She knows that I have only just graduated, and next year I am doing my Honours degree (oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I got accepted in Honours, yay lol), and told me at the end of next year to give her a call and she may have a position available that I could apply for!

Was a good weekend indeed, one of my highlights was hanging out with Daniel.  He has been a mate for absolutely years now, but was never really a close friend, was just a good one (if you get my point).  He used to play drums so we would go to each others houses pretty regularly, and whenever I see him these days at parties we usually bind together for most of the night.  This kind of dawned on both of us when we were at Jason's 21st last week, the fact that we get along really well, we have known each other for ages, have HEAPS in common (he has gone through a very similar situation to mine, and is the only friend I know who has been in as long as a relationship as I have been in), but couldn't really figure out why we have never hung out more often lol.  Will see how that goes.

In other news, 'they' are really starting to get on my nerves now.  You won't believe the crap they have pulled now, I am starting to wonder if I need to step up and say something.  Sigh, story for another day.

Anyways... that was just a general ramble, apologies if it is boring, I am running on about 7 hours sleep over 2 days, so I am barely present with the living at this moment lol.  Time to end this, bed time soon.  Got the next 5 days ahead filled with work 9 - 5, which is absolutely fine by me as I am really loving work at the moment!

I wonder what is in store for my future, you can only wonder =)

Close your eyes, now reflect

I am so sleepy right now as I sit here at work, and I have been meaning to add a new reflective blog for a while now as it has been some time since my last one (I haven't even written much in my book lately, been really busy).  What brougt this up was my post about Jason's 21st party (which is still currently being written... well more accurately, it has already been written but it was terrible so I took it down and am re-doing it lol Which you can read all about here 'Jason's 21st').

Anyways, yes, I mentioned the fact during the Jason's party recap that it is getting relatively easy to ignore 'them'... although in some latest developments it isn't always so.  I am not sure if I want to keep this blog to a reflection or a rant... maybe combine them both?  I am hesitant on how that would turn out lol.

Every now and again I will read some of my old blogs, which I guess aren't actually that old yet, but in my crazy messed up year I have had even 2 months feels like an eternity.  So, where am I now?  Well I guess it is a little hard to understand where I currently am, without first understanding where I have come from, true?  Hmm, but I don't think I am quite ready to divulge that kind of detail just yet (or possibly, if ever), so just assume that an event occurred which turned my life upside down.

One of the biggest results of what happened was a complete reshuffle of my friendships and groups.  I lost my 2 best friends (one of 16 years, the other of 5 years), with the repercussions of that still affecting me drastically today.  The biggest problem was that my best friends were obviously apart of my group of friends... so when there is a split within a group, it is hard to keep the group alive.  People chose sides, true colours were shown, a veil of deceit blanketing most involved, and definitely a lot of talk took place behind closed doors.  In the end your left with a group of people you once called your brothers, that you can now barely call acquaintances... not due to the fact that they have openly shown a retraction from your friendship, rather because no one ever says what they really think, so you never know what peoples intentions are.

It also opens your eyes that you can so easily take things for granted.  Me and the guys, known by all as 'The Crew' (not in a gangsta type way lol, it was just the name we used to refer to our group), anyway, the Crew has (had) been together for 9 years now, we did absolutely everything together, birthdays, went on holidays, countless parties, soooo many stories of the crazy stuff we got up to, I am sure you know what I am talking about.  Sure we all had friends outside the Crew, but you know how its like, you've got friends, then you've got REAL friends, ya know?  I never imagined that I wouldn't have those real friends anymore... after that long of a time of always being together, always having them to rely on no matter what, you kind of just assume it would be like that forever (or at least end on better circumstances).

Then one day... (well in 4 days to be exact)... poof, gone.  Just like that everything I once knew, relied on, cared for, thrown in a downwards spiral of chaos with small chance of it being able to return to normal.  I knew as soon as it all happened that things would never be the same, honestly after what they did, how could it ever go back to how it once was?  There is a fine line between 'pride' getting in the way, and what I deem to be 'morally correct', to why we couldn't return to being friends.

What's my point?  Hmm well I guess I could throw in a weakly conjured excuse of... well actually it depends which way I want to approach it lol.  I could be rather cynical and say my point is 'never think you've got it all figured out, always have a backup plan in case of the worst, remember in the end it is you against everyone'.  However that would be a little extreme (I guess =P).  On the other hand, perhaps some words of warning would be in order?  I know I have definitely used my experience as advice to others, many times actually. 

Hows the saying go? 'It is good to learn from your own mistakes, but ideally it is better to learn from the mistakes of someone else'.

I now need to rant just a tad, so feel free to skip ahead if you like.  Sabbi (one of my best friends) is friends with 'them' (if your confused how that is possible... it is a long story lol.  Basically she was friends with them before all this happened, kind of).  She hangs out with them fairly regularly etc, which I am totally cool with.  'They' on the other hand, tell her that it is fine if she is friends with me... however, what is becoming almost a daily ritual she is getting bombarded with propaganda style slander in the attempts to degrade me as a person, to apparently 'warn her before I end up hurting her'.  Umm... what?  Do I need to remind 'them' that it was they who fucked me over, not the other way round?  It was they who decided to throw away 16 and 5 year long friendships for their selfish gain.

If anyone should be warning Sabbi who not to be hurt by, wouldn't it be I who should be warning her about them?   Your actions speak louder then words dumbasses.

Sabbi obviously enjoys my company quite considerably, so their words are falling on deaf ears... and have no backing to support them anyways, which I do chuckle about lol.  But what bugs me is that 5 months on, when I (the victim) rarely talk about them anymore (I am trying to move on with my life), why do they still feel the need to continue?  Surely they have done enough damage, can't they just leave me be?  I am grateful that Sabbi isn't as gullible as they wish she was, and has the ability to make her own mind up about it all... but it makes me worry about who else they are saying whatever they are saying to?

It also saddens me (and confuses me greatly) on how they can be so hostile in their thinking of me after (well what I thought to be) a long, healthy relationship with the both of them?  Again I say, it was them who was in the wrong, not I, so how can I been seen in such a bad light?

Either they really are the monsters their actions depict them to be (although I find that hard to believe as they were my absolute best friends for such a long time...), or they are just trying to justify what they did?  Who knows... sigh.

I have a sneaking suspicion that they might of found out about this little blog of mine, but meh, I don't care.  I just want to move on... if they are indeed reading, to that I say get some fucking morals and move on, or at the very least just leave me out of your silly games.

That concludes my latest reflection, things are definitely on the rise =D  Soon I will have Jason's 21st recap completed I have completed the recap about Jason's 21st which was a blast, and tonight I am heading out to the city with some mates, then a pool party tomorrow night, so expect some more eventful blogs very soon haha.

Reminiscing is a dangerous thing.

Jason's 21st

Last night was Jason's 21st, and while I did say Peter's 21st party was and I quote, the 'Best. Party. Ever!' (see 'Peter's 21st' for a recap!), it would be hard pressed not to say this one is in the running as a solid contender for that renowned title, if not even declared the winner already. =) Jason, I should mention, is part of my old (still current?) crew of friends that I have been friends with for about 9 years now (same as Peter), and I count him as one of my true mates.

While Peter's was indeed awesome, that was more due to the fact that it was the most fun I had had in a very long time (it has been a very trying last few months...), however Jason's party was just plain fun =D

As with all events these days they start off a little slow as I spend most of my time avoiding 'them'... however I must say that it is getting relatively easier as I am very much getting the sense that they are much more frightened of me then I am of them lol. Hmm, besides, reflecting a little just then, I have realized how far I have come in the last few months and at this very point in time I feel I am just about clear of the dread that the situation empowered over me. Yay me! I really should look into it more, but that is a story for another day. It does also makes it easier when I could see that my ex is getting fat haha =P

That downfall of the night aside, the rest of the night was an absolute blast! Of course like everything I do, there were many mishaps lol.  Jason has a decking area in his backyard and we were all sitting down at the tables eating some dinner. Everything was well and good until CRACK followed by a sudden jolt! The decking had cracked right through the middle and the entire thing sunk about 20cm haha! Beers flew everywhere, people fell off chairs, screams were heard, it was hilarious.

Alas I and this other lady were the unluckiest (no surprise really lol) and walked away from the ordeal with the biggest scars... she got drinks poured all over her dress, while I had beer land in my freshly filled dinner plate (which was devastating, those spring rolls looked so nice... I didn't even get a taste of anything)... and was also fortunate enough to add some decorations to my pants lol:

It is beer I can assure you!!!

Haha damn it was funny though, a solid 30 people were cracking up laughing... to which I shouted 'hey give me some credit, it was a scary moment!'. Jason thankfully gave me some of his jeans for the night.

From then on it was just non-stop laughs and good times by all, got to chat to heaps of people I haven't seen in a while which was awesome.  After that not too much eventful stuff happened (which was perfectly fine by me), had a few drinks, chatted to like a bazillion mates, sang Happy Birthday, was a great time. It was when most of the people went home when the real fun began =D

Sam eventually came so we did some 'classy' dancing lol, which was great fun. Speaking of dancing, I should definitely learn how to dance! And by dancing I mean the proper dancing like Tango and... umm, you know, that Fox Trot... ummm.... the Cha Cha? I don't even know what they are called, but you get my drift lol. Definite chick magnet right there if I knew how to do those.

Some good slow dancing music was played like some Elvis and whatever, so everyone remaining went out to the backyard, would grab a random partner and dance away. The song would finish so everyone would leave their current partner and find a new one, great fun! Definitely one of the highlights of the night was being able to dance with some of the hottest chicks I know lol =P As I said, I didn't have a clue what I was doing, but was a great laugh me trying to take the lead doing the Tango, only to fail miserably lol... sorry to Diana for stepping on her feet (numerous times) and thanks to Sarah for trying to teach me!

Another highlight of the night was meeting a new girl named Polly (!!!) coolest chick ever with the body to match =P Was sooo fun dancing with her, we were doing the (hmm... dunno what the official name is lol)... standard one-hand-on-her-hand-with-the-other-hand-round-her-waist dance, with some random kicks here and there (directed at the other dancers lol) also with some attempts at twirls in between, which went fine until we both tried to twirl at the same time and got our arms tangled to which we then crashed into the people next to us lmao.  Funny stuff =D Very much hope to be seeing her again soon ;)

Throughout the whole night though, I had male competition to compete against for the female attention, which is to be expected, however... how can I compete against this guy!... Cameron, who is 9 years old... don't be fooled to thinking he is a push over, I don't have that kind of cuteness anymore, it was not a fair playing field let me say that much lol. To make it worst he had it out for me as I told him numerous times that it was past his bed time and that he should be in bed haha (which would get him all worked up lol). Every chick I would dance with he would come over, put on some fake kiddy voice of 'hi miss, may I have this dance' (which I taught him to say by the way!), to which of course they would agree lol... that cuteness will not stay with you forever Cameron! =P Haha he was a great kid, I even had the pleasure to dance with him myself.

The rest of the night consisted of a lot of group photos (I snuck in a few 'myspace' type photos of myself a few times for a laugh lol), a few 'I dare you to clap your hands while doing a push up', (which I now can!), a bit of me doing stage style reenactments of hilarious situations that have occurred in the distant past (which I think I over dramatized a little, but it was for a good laugh lol), and then finally the goodbyes.

Oh yeah, it was the first time most had seen my new haircut, which got a lot of approvals and random compliments lol, yay. I have been trying to get a new hair style for like 6 months (literally) so while it was growing I would always wear my hat... I think people were starting to wonder what was my obsession with the hat, so it is good to have it finally gone. =)

So yes, had 'Eventful journey home' on Friday night, then this on Saturday night, and spent the day at the beach on Sunday with Sabbi. All in all, a good way to the end week =)

Tune in for next time!

(Woah, apologies for the length, I didn't realise until I posted it. Also apologies as it is rather jumbled and lacks a bit of spark (in my eyes at least)... but it will do for now)

Eventful journey home

Crazy is the word that describes my journey home last night lol... let me explain.

Last night I was at a pub called Bridie O'Rielleys for a good friend's 19th party (Sabbi was with me) which turned out to be an awesome night... shots all round! lol. I had these shots called Doughnuts which are actually pretty awesome, as well as pints of beers (haha pints are the best invention ever!), but I was pretty sober which was a nice change, met some new people, good times all round.

Quote of the night "Sabbi, come on, who has the more moneys?"

Speaking of new people, I met this awesome Russian by the name of Demetri, funniest guy ever lol. He reminds me of a splitting image of Chris Waitt from the movie 'A Complete History of My Sexual Failures' both looks and behaviour, although way more upbeat. He was a great guy, reckons he has just come to Australia about 4 months ago, applied to 400 jobs (apparently) and finally managed to get a job at Harvey Norman haha. He even came to Bridie's on his own as he had just finished work and decided to stop by haha! Aww I feel bad now, I remember him mentioning he has no friends here in Australia, I could of been his friend.

Roughly 2am or so Sabbi, Shannon and I decide to head home, and what a journey that turned out to be. We were 5km or so from the city and since we had spent all our money for the night on drinks, we weren't able to afford a taxi therefore we had to walk to the city lol. Sabbi had freakin' towers for shoes on, which proved slow and painful for both of us... (painful for her for obvious reasons, painful for me because of how slow we were walking). Being the gentlemen I am, I offered that she wears my shoes and I'll walk the dangerous, shattered bottle filled streets in my socks.



Can you see what's wrong with this image?

The walk home consisted of a lot of running for some reason, I can't recall why. On the way we find and meet a girl called Vanessa who asked us for directions, I could tell something was wrong and asked her if everything was alright. Turned out everything was not alright, and she burst into tears! She had just come from a rather crazy ordeal involving psycho ex-boyfriends and the likes and was struggling to hold herself together. After some smartass jokes from myself, some kind words from Sabbi and a big group hug, she was back to her smiling ways =) By this stage we were about 1 or 2 km's from Chapel St (the street that Bridie's is on), which was the street Vanessa needed to get to, but as if we could let her walk that distance on her own, so we walked her back to Chapel St lol.

Haha there was a funny moment when I went to prank Vanessa's phone so she can have my number (in case she needed help later on)... however I accidentally pranked my other friend Vanessa... this was 2am lol. Oops!

On the way for some reason we decided it would be a good idea to all switch shoes lol.


Shannon trying desperately to feel like Cinderella with Sabbi's shoes.


Sabrina proving that variety is key. I think it's a good look.






With shoes back to normal (although I am still in socks) and Vanessa off to safety, we turn back around to walk to our original destination, the city. On the way (and I have to mention this to rub it in =P) Sabbi said some very harsh words to yours truly, so we were not on speaking terms for a little while haha. Then as good mates do we were laughing our heads off again, now in the search of some food and the Nightrider bus!

Oh yeah, if you tell a friend to distract a security guard while you want to sneak up to the second floor of the Maccas to use the bathroom (cause it is off limits at that time of night)... you would expect them to wouldn't you? Well, this was not the case, instead Sabbi just goes up and asks the security guard if I was allowed to, which he obviously said no... he then moved over to stand by the stairs to guard it with even more scrutiny after the tip off that had just been supplied to him lol...

We said our goodbyes to Shannon as he found his bus... which left Sabbi and I to guess roughly which bus we were meant to get lol. The bus ride was nuts! It was packed so I had to stand for most of it... then there was these really loud guys at the back of the bus which must of been angering some lone dude right at the front. The lone dude then snaps with the noise and runs to the back of the bus shouting at the loud guys, and they have this massive verbal argument haha...

We ended up kind of close to my house, and luckily with our remaining cash we got a taxi to my home for the remainder of the trip... with the coolest taxi driver ever! Shaved off like $3 from our fair and was actually pretty funny. So yes.. we finally made it home at 4.30am after about 2 hours of travel lol, great night!

The best things in life are always when you least expect it.

Just 'cruising' through life

A lot can happen in one day. You wake up in the morning, and if you've got the time you might even spend a little while running through what the day ahead of you will have in store. Well it seems that in one of my typical days, a lot more happens then most other peoples lol.

I was at work today and out of no where I get a call from Jason. That's strange, he knows I have work, why would he call now?

"Hey Jace, what's going on?"
"Aaron, I got a question for ya... would you be interested in going on a cruise?"
"Umm yeah sure I guess so, when abouts, where to?"
"It is booked for April 7th to the 17th, goes from Sydney to around the Vanuatu and surrounding islands, costs $1800 which includes a bunch of stuff, it's a P&O cruise"
"Booked? What you mean booked?"
"Haha well, me and Michael (another friend of ours) were chatting last night right, Mick's brother is going on this cruise and was telling us about it, sounded way awesome. Today Mick's mum went to the travel agency and booked us in! And we need 4 people or else we can't go because it is a package deal"
"Haha no way... umm, ok give me a few days to decide"

(Usually I would say yes without giving it a thought, but I am going to Singapore in a few weeks, and Thailand mid year, so the cost of all these holidays was starting to add up)

"Well, actually... we need to know by 4pm today" (at the time it was roughly 1pm)
"Haha your kidding!... ok I'll call ya back later"

Long story short, they had also asked Peter if he wanted to go (as they expected it to be hard to find a 4th person within such a short amount of time)... I called back to say yes I am in, they tell me that Peter had already called seconds beforehand and he had said yes already. Damn! I missed out! I was kicking myself soooooo bad! As I said, usually I wouldn't even think about it and jump right in... why the hell did I hesitate... well that's one lesson I am determined to learn.

But alas! Peter is notorious with being highly unreliable... there is like a 80% chance that when he agrees to go somewhere (fishing, movies, wherever), that he will cancel just before it is time to go. Jason knew this, so on the phone he says that Peter has already said yes, however we both know how he is like, so we will see if he is still in by the days end.


Within the hour he had already pulled out haha! I'm in! =D

Peter's 21st

Best. Party. Ever! I cannot sum up in words how much fun this party was lol, and how unexpected it all turned out!

I will start from the beginning... ahem. =P Peter is one of my best mates (well, kind of, not sure anymore.. ok he is a friend of some sorts at least lol) and Saturday night just gone was his 21st party. My group of mates (mates I have been with for about 9 years now) have been day dreaming about each of our 21st parties for years now... but due to all the stuff that has happened this year (namely my situation, betrayal, loss of friends)... our original group is close to breaking point, so I wasn't really looking forward to this party at all (nor Jason's 21st which is this Saturday...). Which now that I think about it is such a shame, and is pretty messed up... anyways.

Of course 'them' were going to be there as well... fucking yay... this was to be the second time I am to see them in person (although I still refuse to talk to them, see that decision at 'The time has come. Step up.'), but it is still a hassle having to avoid them as I really don't want to be amongst a circle of people chatting with them in the mix...

Night started out pretty boring, I started really slow on the drinks (Sabbi drove), and made pathetic chit chat to whoever was around me. Not very fun at all lol. It picked up a little bit when I was in the garage with about 5 friends, and 'they' were out of sight in the back yard.

Finally like 11pm the cake got cut (to which I then tried to leave but Sabbi wouldn't let me lol)... so I grudgingly stayed, with the help of a few beers. After that I am not sure what happened between then and time to go home (not because I was drunk)... just one moment I am in the garage chatting with a friend, the next second it is 4 hours later at 3.30am, I am off my face laughing my absolute head off with a circle sitting around me, and Sabbi is telling me it is time to go home haha =D

Those 4 hours were just... no idea lol, the absolute best! I haven't laughed so hard in years... one of the key people on the night was a long time friend of mine, Samantha (who is one of rebecca's old best friends from back in the day) who is now a good friend of mine. We laughed so hard, I can't even remember what about lol.

Sabbi offered to take Sam home with us, which meant for another fun drive home (much like one of our last great drives home, which Sabbi documented here). To start off, apparently I shotgunned driving haha! This part has slipped my memory though. She obviously said no, to which I protested and fought her for the keys lol. She won so as you do, I cracked it. Yay for adult tantrums!

I sat in the back seat with Sam which was HILARIOUS fun! We got Maccas on the way of course (can't have a drinking night without it!), which just added to the fun.

Sabbi: "Can I have a chip?"
Sam: "Yeah sure" (goes to pass her one)
Me: "No that's not how you pass a chip!" (chips away! haha!)

(Picture: One of the chips that we found upon inspection the next day)

We dropped off Sam to her house, then on the way to mine (and this is my favourite part of the night lol) I threw an 'unknown object' out the window while we were driving lol. The reason I say unknown is because it is just that, unknown. I can't remember what it was, all I know is that it came from Sabbi's car haha! I tried really hard to remember in the morning... I keep thinking it was an apple, but I don't think there were any apples in the car. Oh well, one day I am sure Sabbi will realise something is missing lol.

One of the best nights I have ever had, and completely unexpected!