Hmm

What is up with me this week? Ever since I have moved out of home I have become a completely different person... I am even getting the feeling that it is here to stay. I guess it isn't a bad thing, right? I guess that depends on how I am changing and what into.

I guess to bring everyone up to speed, I moved out of home last weekend... today marks a solid 5 days anniversary. My initial thoughts? Love it, and because I love it, I am petrified. The 3 house mates are awesome, I am currently sitting next to Jack as I type this, just chatting away, how cool is that. (well to me it is). The other two, Jane and Mark, are just as good. Everything seems good, perfect even... yet sadly, my past has morphed me into a terribly cynical person and I spent my days wandering 'Where is it going to go wrong?'.

I haven't opened up to them yet, the whole time I have been terribly introverted. That is my usual myself, true, but not to this extreme. I am quiet, closed for a reason, lots of reasons actually... last year was a terrible year, I was hurt by too many people that I had opened myself up to completely and unconditionally... I am not going to make that mistake again. One day I will need to learn to trust again... I can't stay this closed for ever, but that time has not come, the right person for that more importantly has not come either, so for now things will remain this way, just how I like it.

People can't hurt you if you don't let them in right? Sounds good to me.

What was writting above could be the reason why I haven't been myself lately... I am just wondering if this is the new me, do I like it?

Passing the time

I've got nothing to say really, just trying to pass the time during my work day. It is a Wednesday today, I am currently at work with a terrible hang over...

Today was supposed to be half a day at work, half a day at Uni. It is a bit more mucking around (logistically speaking) but I love the variety. The assumption of my day turning out the way that was planned was the reason I stayed up so late drinking with my new house mates, figured with the little sleep I was going to have I could wing work for a few hours, then sleep during my class. Disappointingly class was canceled, which means I am stuck at work for the entire day now... ouch.

I could of lied and left work anyway at 12.30 like I was supposed to... but I need the money. Living out of home isn't cheap that's for sure. My last 3 days has consisted of a total of $16 at my disposal ($10 note on me, $3.51 in my bank account and a few coins in my car)... cereal has been breakfast, lunch and dinner. I could of bought food, but I spent that $16 last night on beer and some bluetack to put my posters up in my new room, Kate Von D poster anyone? =)

Living the dream lol.

Head hurts, it is currently 12.25pm, I was supposed to be out of here in 5 minutes... 4 hours to go now. I have been terrible with blogging lately, my posts are a solid 3 weeks behind... maybe I should post shorter ones perhaps lol. Hmm, we'll see about that, I love explaining in detail... often times I feel my stories are always one of those 'you had to be there' moments. I should probably practice on my writing skills some day.

Update: It is now 1.39... it feels like I wrote the above days ago. I am starving, I didn't bring any lunch with me because I thought I was going to be home by now... and I have no money left as I spent it last night. Should be getting paid today sometime. My new house and housemates though are simply awesome, I can't believe my luck. We have so much in common, I've mentioned to them how awesome I think they are and how lucky I am to have them, in turn they burst into a fits of giggles and smiles claiming that is it them who is lucky to have me lol.

A win win either way.

Last night was Mark's birthday, hence there was drinking, hence my hang over. I am all up for a party (their friends were cool and friendly so that was a plus), just parties during the week I hope isn't too regular of an occurrence... some of us have to work in the morning. My head keeps throbbing =S

Time to hunt for some food, I have a feeling that I will return to this post before the days end.

Night one

Something terrifying happened tonight. Tonight is my first night at the new house I have just moved in to, sharing with 3 pre-existing occupants. Jane, Mark and Jack. At first, from all first impressions, they seem absolutely awesome. Friendly, casual, relaxed, students.

I already knew from the house interview the other week that these could (finally) be some people I could relate to, possibly even become friends with (something I so desperately need right now). Jack plays bass, Mark plays drums... I play drums also, fellow musicians sweet! Not only that but also during the inspection I seen Jack's computer had World of Warcraft on the screen, video game players, things were looking great.

When I first arrived today Jack was out, but Mark and Jane were in their rooms, on their computers, playing the same game in cooperative mode... no... freakin'... way! =D I have just stumbled into a dream, house mates that play video games, this is amazing. Not only that, Jane was playing, and she looked like someone who actually knew what they were doing which means this was in no way an uncommon occurrence. Music lovers, gaming lovers, a girl gamer... there is nothing more to say. =)

About an hour ago, I was in my new room (which currently lacks curtains that can close, a broken window frame, left over music cd's and dvd's in the cupboard, and a bed with no blanket... cause I forgot mine at home), just playing some video games. Suddenly I hear a blood curdling scream come from upstairs... was that from a movie? I put the volume down in case it occurs again... it did. I look out of my room to Jane who is in the room across the hall, she seems calm, maybe it was just a movie on the upstairs TV?

It happens again, she looks my way... now shes worried. We both run upstairs and find it is coming from the garage, I was worried about barging in, these people I have only known for literally a few hours, should I really intrude in their business? No, I had to know, if a girl was in trouble I have to take action no matter what. Luckily Jane was with me and opened the door really quick, popped her head in then out. I got the feeling that she was familiar with this event, so obviously this stuff has happened before.

Jane and I rendezvous down stairs for some privacy, she explains the situation. Apparently Mark's ex girlfriend is a bit off the rails... by the screams it sounded like way more then a bit. I keep my ear open in case things got too far, I had no idea if Mark was the good guy or the bad guy in this situation, was he hurting her, or was he protecting her? If he was protecting her, from what, herself? If things got too far I would of stepped in, but it was as a last resort... getting into a confrontation on your very first day isn't a good idea by any means lol, although it does sound exactly like something that would happen to me.

Long story short, police and ambulance were called. Things got absolutely crazy at the house for a bit, I tried to lay low, I could tell Mark was having a very hard emotional time, how much worst would he feel knowing this is all happening in front of a complete stranger, some kind of fear that I would judge him no doubt.

Which in fact, I do judge him, but for the right reasons. Mark's ex girlfriend is rather troubled, Mark was there for her in one of her darkest hours, he stuck by her, got her help, brought her to safety. It might not be lasting help, but it was better then nothing. What he did was memorable, he seems like a great guy, the kind of guy I hope to be as I get older.

He came to me after wards and apologized, I tried my hardest to express that he had nothing to apologize for. He laughed, he has a wholesome smile, but sadness in his eyes, he laughed at the fact that this never happens, and it was just my luck to see the house in this state on my first day. It is my kind of luck, typical me.

Jane and Mark are now upstairs, obviously talking about the recent events... and while they are up there I tell you what I am thinking? It isn't that this place seems crazy, it isn't that my room is a bit of a bomb (I think I have chosen the worst of the 2 rooms available)... it isn't that I feel a little isolated being away from everyone, because on the contrary, I actually feel right at home. What I am thinking is that I wish I had friends like that. I have a strong desire to go up there myself, sit down with them both and see if I can offer any words of wisdom... but I am new, I have no right to be there. An outsider looking in is not welcome company when inside company is available... or perhaps I am wrong, I usually am, but better to lay low and play it safe then step on peoples toes.

These people seem like great people... I for some reason feel completely comfortable with them, no idea why. I prey that this is just the beginning of something grand, it is a great start already.

No sarcasm on that last sentence, seriously.

Flash of Inspiration

Well I guess everything has kind of just been falling into place lately in spectacular fashion. Work is going great (it is a great break from the hardships of Uni), and Uni is going absolutely fantastic. I really cannot express how great it is going... for the first time in a very long time I caught a solid glimpse of the old me returning, it was incredible.

There was a lot of laughter that's for sure.

How much does this sound like the old me right (for those of your who remember the old me that is)... I spent 3 weeks trying to think of a topic for my Honours thesis, ideas were flowing in at an unmanageable amount, I just couldn't stick with a single idea for more then a day without another either trumping it or... who knows what to be honest. 2 days before a topic proposal was due I still didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted, and after a meeting with Sophie and Mick that morning my mind wasn't any clearer.

I felt so small that Sophie invited Mick... made me look like I was a handful or some kind of train wreck... but I seriously can't blame her for doing so cause true be told, that's basically what I was... which makes it that much worse. After that lengthy meeting I still hadn't gotten much further, my mind as always was a complete mess, I was starting to panic, there wasn't much time left.

But alas, as fate would have it, amazingly out of absolutely no where that very afternoon at 4pm, an idea springs to mind. At first I tried my best to ignore it as I was worried Sophie was getting sick of my constant mind changes, I didn't want to hit her with yet another new idea, especially so close to the proposal day.

Fate it seems finally spared some time for me... I just could not shake the idea.

Words rung within my head, ones that I had written down myself only a few days before actually "I used to just roll with things with the belief that things just work out for the best in the end, for the first 20 years of my life this worked wonders, so hell, why can't it keep working?".

I was currently staring at a blank page, a page that was meant to be my proposal for the topic I had chosen settled upon from the morning meeting. Needless to say it wasn't getting filled anytime soon.

I decided to take a leap of faith, no matter that bringing new ideas to the table 2 days before the due date was simply a bad idea (after literally 10 plus random ideas from the previous weeks). Inspiration had struck, it was time to relax and let it inside, to let it overwhelm me, and that's exactly what happened. Within 15 minutes I had a full page proposal written up, I literally ran to Sophie's office in the fear that she had already left for the day, which thankfully she hadn't.

I ran in, apologizing profusely as I knew bringing a completely new topic wasn't a good idea at all (and I was hell scared that she would start to get annoyed at me, I look up to her far too much to accept that). She loaded up the file, she pulled up a chair, she began to read. I sat there with my heart pumping. I am usually fantastic at reading people, often times I can tell what people are about to say even before they say it, at times I can see the hidden meanings people try to hide with twisted words and abstract expressions.

Sophie's face however was blank, unreadable, then swiftly it changed from one expression to the next. Intrigue, confusion, disapproval... her lips form into a question, the question forms a quiet thought, she goes silent.

I panicked, I couldn't take the unknown any longer. For the next 2 minutes I rambled and explained and defended and apologized my entire idea inside and out, it was terrifying to think that to finally run with a flash of inspiration, something I have purposely restrained myself from doing for months now, for it to in the end be all for naught. I didn't know if I could take the rejection, I had been so sure, it was how the old me would of done it, which meant it had to work... right?

She nodded a lot, I couldn't tell what that meant. There was a lot of thinking involved though, or was that disbelief that I had had the nerve to bring yet another idea to the table... or maybe even regret for agreeing to supervise me? More of a hindrance than an inspiration perhaps. Ouch.

Lots of questions were asked, she was clearly still confused, I answered as best as my hazy mind and beating heart would allow. Slowly the mist seemed to clear, the lines of her brow started to straighten, I held my breath. She smiled. "I love it".

My topic is settled! The relief was amazing. It took a while for it to sink in, it really did. I still worry that I might of pushed her too far, ha, that is exactly something I do to people though, sometimes intentionally, often times not. Was this my plan all along, a way to test our compatibility? It was purely subconscious if it was.

My topic is chosen, sorry I just had to say it again, it feels so good!

A love poem

"I love parties"

A love poem by Aaron

---------------

I love parties

I especially love parties for an old friend

These are great because I get to see lots of other old friends

A lot of old friends

We all like to catch up, have a few drinks, have a few laughs

We like to catch up on what everyone has been doing since leaving high school

What is everyone studying? Who is dating? Who is still as retarded as the last time I saw them?

And after the countless laughs

the countless drinks

the countless songs

the countless stories

I tell you what I love most about parties for an old friend?

I especially love seeing my ex girlfriend there

I especially love seeing my ex best friend there

I especially love seeing my ex girlfriend and my ex best friend who are now dating

It is so sweet when they hug and kiss in front of me, don't you agree?

And how fun is it when I have to squeeze past them down the hallway?

Way fun!

Can I get a woop woop?

Or how about that everyone there knows what happened

So they either feel sorry for you, or judge you

And don't forget when my best mates have to split their time between me and 'them'

Oh the joys of a 21 year old's partying life

My favourite part of the night is a game I like to play

It's called 'try and keep your spirits high'

I play it lots of times when I am out

I win some, and I lose some

Last night, I was losing by a long shot...

Life was lacking that's for sure

But, my good friend Sam came to the rescue

Sam is super awesome

Sam and I drank lots, Sam and I laughed lots

Sam and I walked bare foot to McDonalds at 2am

She laughed so hard that she snorted

It was funny

So in the end, I won my game

Queensland!

I be back! Man what an awesome holiday Queensland turned out to be, heaps better then I ever expected in my wildest dreams. The idea to go to Queensland appeared a while back, and now that it is done and gone it has really opened up my eyes to the saying 'whats next!'. Life is so full of adventure, and there really is no excuse to get out there more.

The famous 4-mile beach is the image to the left.

To sum up my trip, my sister and I went to Port Douglas, Queensland, Australia for a small 5 day holiday one week before the busy University year is about to begin. Nothing fancy (we're both on student salaries lol), we stayed at an extremely cheap backpackers hostel and managed to get a package that also included some tours to really save the pennies.

While in our room we met the most amazing girl by the name of Gemma, who is from England. She is 26, has her certified scuba diving pass under her belt, and she simply travels the world getting a job on any tourist boat that will take her (which there are plenty of those around the Queensland coast)... now think about that for a moment... thought about it? How freakin' seriously cool does that sound! Sees the world and makes a living along the way, wow, she was an inspiration that's for sure.

A highlight for me, and according to the log I was keeping to which I wrote "today was one of the best days I have in years, possibly of my life', was when we went snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef. Wow, what a moment that was! Sadly I didn't get an underwater camera with me, the abundance and variety of life by the reef was incredible, I could of floated there for days. It took me quite a while to even register where I was, then even longer to cycle through all the amazing things I had experienced for the day... a memory to cherish that's for sure.

It was quite funny actually because for an hour or so about mid day I became extremely sea sick... massive head ache, I was scared that the day was going to be ruined! As luck would have it though I made a full recovery after I ate some food and drank plenty of water. Phew!

And to add to the day even further, I seen one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen in my life... she seriously took my breath away... which I know is cheesy to say, but its the truth haha! But I'll spare the details.

Another day was spent at the World Heritage listed Daintree Rainforest of tropical Queensland. Now I have seen a few rainforests in my time (Blue Mountains in Australia, islands of Fiji) but this one was truly a master piece of nature. The image to the right is from a point called Alexandria Lookout, with the ones below being of the rainforest itself.

Click the images to view the larger.




The images below are of the amazing Mossman Gorge river, which we got to swim in as part of our morning refreshments.


All in all it was an amazing experience, one that I feel privileged to of had the chance to do so. The places, peoples and tours we traveled were absolutely amazing, if you're planning a holiday to Port Douglas then seriously feel free to get in touch with me and I can share my knowledge.

Next up? My cruise adventure, not long now!

Living life and loving it, get out there people!

My life is awkward

I am by my very nature a master at creating embarrassing and awkward situations for myself. This includes just general day to day encounters such as getting petrol, going for bike rides, celebrating an event, I always have a way to do something retarded that makes me either laugh at myself or shake my head.

This behavior is amplified 10 fold when good looking girls are involved lol. It is a terrible disability that I thought would lesson over time... I am starting to worry.

The other week I was at my local EB Games store (they sell video games) just browsing as I often do. This time however I was greeted with a friendly "hey hows it going?" by a great looking chick, which is rare in such a store as the usual staff are middle aged balding guys with red beards.

"I'm good, yourself?" Crap, shes hot, gotta say something else. She was vacuuming at the time. "Haha, that looks fun" I smirk, but in good humour, well that was my intention at least lol.

She laughs, phew, 1 point to me. "Ha, yeah its pretty lame I hate it, stupid thing doesn't even work half the time".

... yep, I'm out, nothing more to say. I mumbled something else to her but I don't remember what, then went over to do some browsing. The whole time I'm kicking myself as usual, stuff like this happens far too often, I decided I'll have to make a second attempt. I wait a while until she finishes vacuuming... which doesn't seem to be ending any time soon... I am starting to run out of things to browse and knew that doubling back to browse stuff that I had already looked at looks weird.

That, or gives the impression that I really like my video games to a creepy extent haha.

Hmm, have to think of a way to talk to her, but I didn't want to do it while shes vacuuming cause that wouldn't work well (and yeah, you can argue against that if you like, this is just what was going through my head at the time). Hmm, think Aaron think... I am in a store... there's stuff, on shelves... she's vacuuming... pull the power plug? That's option A, need an option B. How to get a register attendant to chat... damn, all my smarts seem to elude me at the time I need it most.

Ah, I know, I'll buy something!

Grinned to myself at this brilliant idea. Don't really want to spend too much money, lets look at the sales table. I find a $4 game for the Nintendo Wii, perfect. Wander over to the sales desk to buy my impulse buy, she comes over, going well so far.

"Ha I love this game, I play it with my little cousins on the Wii all the time" she says with a laugh. An unexpected win there, 1 point to me.

I ramble something boring along the lines of having seen it before but never have actually played it although it always looked fun... I really need to work on my conversational skills, I am a smooth one aren't I lol. This somehow works in my advantage however because she says with a smile:

"Oh I highly recommend, it is great fun! Well definitely come back soon, it will be nice to hear if you liked it or not, I have only played it on the Nintendo Wii not the PC".

I must be doing something right, another point to me. Hmm, but why would she want to hear about the PC version of the game, I just bought the Wii version. I better correct her.

"PC? This is for the Wii".

"No, look, says PC right here on the cover". I cringed, of course I was wrong, negative 10 points to me for looking like a fool.

"Oh, yeah, right... it's been a long day." Made a mental note to self: when I am on a win, just walk away. I say my goodbyes and promise to return some time to let her know how it went.

I come home with my impulse buy with no intentions of playing it, figure if she asks about it in the future I could just wing it. Money well spent lol?

The game. It is for the PC if you couldn't tell.